Grand Theft Auto: The trouble with those pesky Saints and Sleeping Dogs

So after baited breath, GTA V has finally landed. When the delays were initially announced I was one of the folks who weren’t that fussed, why? Because I knew that not only did there have to be a damn good reason for it but I had faith in Rockstar that they wanted to get the game right more than hitting the schedule. My faith was not misplaced, it is a beauty to behold and technicalities aside, I can breathe the characters (except Trevor, no-one should breathe that guy). This game is amazing, it is a true force of nature. Characters feel real, I can genuinely relate to the them, especially Franklin and that is what raises the bar above the well documented violence. Yes there is violence and the fact is that we should feel uncomfortable, it should give you reason for a bit of pause as far as I am concerned. For me, the simple truth is that I brought an 18 rated game. End of.

This is not however a review of the magnificence of GTA V, this is about one little frustration that I have with the series. A frustration highlighted by playing 2 other games, 2012’s Sleeping Dogs and Saints Row 4.

Sleeping Dogs is a brilliant game and I urge anyone who hasn’t played it to give it a go. Basically it’s about an undercover cop making his way through one of the Triads, the Sun On Yee in this case, in modern day Hong Kong. It plays well and the story is compelling. This game came from leftfield to totally surprise me; it was a game that I couldn’t put down. About ¾ into the game, the character of ‘Broken Nose’ Jiang is introduced, a red pole or lieutenant in the Sun On Yee. Initially I was surprised and buoyed by the experience but also a bit wary. The game has it’s fair share of women, the usual girlfriends and victims so I was expecting one of the inevitable awful demise or ‘doing it for love’ cop out storylines.
 

 

But Broken Nose Jiang is a gift that keeps on giving, shrewd, intelligent, very aware of the fact that whilst some her peers despise her presence as a female in the Sun On Yee, she has commanded respect by being badass enough to maintain her position and rise through its ranks.

As the game unfolded, I was treated to some tough love and further revelations via Winston’s Mom. Although not an affiliate, she is a force to be reckoned with. I won’t spoil it for those who haven’t played but urge you to find a copy and give this a go.

Then we come to the 3^rd Street Saints in the form of Saints Row. One of the things I love about this game is that by its 3^rd instalment, it is not trying to be GTA, it’s a giant pisstake (for the love of God, Hulk Hogan has a part in it!). We then have the DeWynter sisters, Kiki and Viola and Kenzie Kensington, which is Saints Row does Lisabeth Salander and of course Shaundi, the lieutenant to your character.

This is not a review of those games but both Sleeping Dogs & Saints Row 3 & 4 have done something which I am sorry to say GTA does not. They have kick ass strong females in lead positions. There is a distinct lack of them in GTA V and while I fully understand that the focus of the game on Michael, Franklin and Trevor could not allow for another and that there is pastiche and fun to be poked at our way of life and world we find ourselves in, you mean to tell me that you couldn’t have just made one of them a woman?

I do think this is a weak link in the chain of GTA, I have watched the games evolve and focus not merely on the joy of carnage, but also about people and the situations they find themselves in and what they do about it, right or wrong. There is a part in GTA V *spoiler* which Franklin’s Aunt reminds him to not forget where he has come from and about his people to which Franklin responds by asking her if she is asking him to be a gangbanger now because he has experienced success. It is a perfect summary of the attitude in those cities and towns all over the world, this idea that because you have become a success, you are no longer keeping it real. You threaten to shatter the façade by daring to be different and the haters around you would prefer that you did what was comfortable.

That is why I love the advance of gaming and the current state of games. That simple exchange, mired in waves of frustration and puts it out there in technicolour as to why our teenagers find escape from their known environment so difficult, so challenging and for some a death sentence. You have to know that the haters do not want you to change the status quo.

Now if this level can be infused to Franklin and Michael….we’re still working on Trevor, give me a female character of substance. So far I have found one. C’mon Rockstar, you know you can. Please don’t tell me no-one is interested as a certain lady by the name of Lara Croft, still carries weight. We are not talking tampons and deep and meaningfuls here, Saints Row and Sleeping Dogs didn’t have to pull that to make good games and good characters.

If your argument then that there are no believable women like this, ok we all know strong women who do amazing and marvellous things but not the trigger happy lunatics like Trevor, allow me to impart this one name to you: Griselda Blanco

Born in Cartagena, Columbia at aged 11 kidnapped and tried to ransom another child. She then shot the child when the ransom was not paid. She was a prostitute until aged 20 and in the 1970’s emigrated to the US with her 2^nd husband. From Queens, New York they established a sizable cocaine business, and in April 1975, Blanco was indicted on federal drug conspiracy charges along with 30 of her subordinates, at that time the biggest cocaine case in history. She fled to Colombia before she could be arrested, but in the late 1970s she returned to Miami.Blanco was involved in much of the drug-related violence known as the Cocaine Cowboy Wars that plagued Miami in the late 1970s and early 1980s, when cocaine supplanted marijuana.

Her distribution network spanned the United States, and brought in US$80 million per month. She was suspected of masterminding over two hundred murders. She was known as The Cocaine Godmother and ‘The Black Widow’ until her death in 2012 which was ironically in the style of motorbike assassination that she created and favoured.

I could go on and on about the woman, there is more than enough info out there and some of the stuff, you just couldn’t make up. But she is not alone. All over the world there are examples of women who do not shy away from criminality but take an active part in it. We know of the infamous exploits of Madam Alex & Heidi Fleiss but there are other examples like Judy Moran in Australia and Concetta Scalisi in Italy.

The point is that the material is out there, it is ripe for extraction. Apparently during the creation of Saints Row the Third in an early concept stage, Kiki and her sister Viola were originally Japanese twins called Natsuko and Yukako, nicknamed Suki and Yuki for short. They led their own all-female gang, to contrast with the original Morningstar concept of an all-male gang. The two gangs were merged to streamline the story, and the DeWynters were made Caucasian to avoid the stereotype of “badass Asian chicks that are subservient to an older man.”

That’s the kind of consideration I like to see in developers. So my question is RockStar….what are you waiting for, will you rise to the challenge?

 

 

I don't know about you, but how about a drink before the devastation, courtesy of The Drunken Moogle

Liberty Carbomb (GTA Drink)
Ingredients:1 oz Baily’s Irish Creme
1 oz Jack Daniel’s Whiskey
1 glass Guiness Stout
Directions: Drink like any other “bomb” drink.
Best before or after drinking Hot Coffee.

Review: Oculus Rift

Each year, new games are unleashed upon us. I’ve been a gamer for the majority of my life and despite a tempestuous beginning have settled into a great relationship with games. I am enjoying being at the point where I don’t need to own every new release under the sun (life takes priority ya know!) but most years, if I’m really frank about the whole thing, I can take or leave the majority. Then comes  the year where every game that makes you moist comes out at EXACTLY the same time!

Case in point: Bioshock Infinite…The Last of Us… Saints Row IV ….and of course Grand Theft Auto V …be still my beating heart. However, this is not a review of those games, but a review of a little gadget called Oculus Rift. A colleague of mine briefly introduced me to the idea some months ago, ending on the bombshell that he had lined himself up for a Developer Kit. Initially I struggled to get my head around the idea and was a bit concerned as what he showed me on screen looked amazingly like a cross between Jeff Fahey in Lawnmower man and Craig Charles as Lister in Red Dwarf ‘Gunmen of the Apocalypse.’

The concept for those not familiar is Virtual Reality but the specific focus of Rift is gaming. The thing that I love about Oculus Rift is the huge amount of backing on Kickstarter, it doesn’t seem to be a case of a bunch of developers telling the public to have the latest peripheral, but a case of people coming together and fans of the concept putting serious money behind it ($2,437,429) to get this off the ground and into production. It has been recently announced that on the back of this investment, a further $16,000,000  led by Spark Capital, Matrix Partners, Founders Fund and Formation 8 has been given to fund development.

So, back to my fellow gamer dude who managed to acquire Oculus and call me over for a view and a quick play. First impressions is that the headset was nowhere near as cumbersome or heavy as the original Virtual Reality headsets of days gone by. To be honest with you, I didn’t know what to expect and I buckled up and turned everything on.

The set up is very straightforward and I closed my eyes as the Rift was put over my head. When I opened them again, I couldn’t help but gasp. Immersive is a word that is so often overused but bloody hell other words just fail me. I was looking at a very basic scene, a new build house with a door and I was standing outside, but it was when I looked up at the sky which was changing that I felt blown away. It was completely seamless, no pixelation, nothing to indicate that everything you see completely surrounds you.

Awe doesn’t quite cover it. I just wasn’t ready

It has been announced in the last few weeks that EVE:Valkyrie when released in 2014 will include the ability to play in  multiplayer dogfight mode with the Rift. To be honest, I know I’m gonna get blowed up to high heaven on a continuous basis as I will be too busy taking everything in to flip a switch or engage an enemy.

Games have improved in terms of quality, viewing pleasure and story over the years. Whilst attending a conversation with Joss Whedon one of the attendees asked about Joss venturing into gaming and then implied, in dismissive tone that he wouldn’t sink so low, because gaming wasn’t really up to standard. As I beat the audience member to a pulp with a handily stashed Xbox 360 controller, Joss did say that you couldn’t write off gaming as there is a wealth of games with excellent stories, some of which put movies to shame.
The point is that while I was there, Rift firmly attached to my head, trying to touch fireflies that flittered past my face and brush away falling leaves, my brain couldn’t wait to apply this to my game experience. The sheer idea that this could evolve enough for me to look through the eyes of a certain chief, call sign 117 and gaze across the landscape….chills down my spine does not quite cover it.

The interesting thing about Rift is about patience. Too many Companies set out to rush things out in time for the summer/Christmas rush. The beauty of the Rift is that time is being taken to get it perfect and the consumers are happy to wait. Who the hell wouldn’t? The child in you will want this now, yesterday, NOW! But the adult in you will be happy to wait for time to be taken to execute an excellent project.
As Team Fortress 2 is available to play using Oculus Rift, please enjoy my latest boozy contribution, via those wonderful folks from The Drunken Moogle

Jarate -Team Fortress 2 Cocktail – Courtesy of the foine folks at The Drunken Moogle
Ingredients
1 Litre of Cloudy lemonade
2 cups of Vodka
1 Cup of triple sec
1 can of twisted tea or 12 oz of another dark tea drink (Add or use less for desired darkness)

Directions: Mix all ingredients together and distribute in mason jars to properly gross out your friends and confuse them as you chug it down.

"Jayne, your mouth is talking. You might wanna look to that."

About a few years ago, I spotted my really talented and awesome friend Derek Bremner, who was sporting a “Joss Whedon is my Master now” T-shirt. Only the deep resounding love I have for Del (combined with the fact that the t-shirt would look a little bit like The Hulk on me), stopped me from ripping this from him and claiming the spoils as my own.

That was a few years ago. Fast forward to 12^th June 2013 and I am hot, bothered and fidgeting with anticipation at attending ‘A Conversation with Joss Whedon’ at the BFI Southbank.

Joss Whedon is someone whom I greatly respect. Back in the day, I came home one night from a very late gig to see the end of Buffy and watch as she finally had sex with Angel and then to my horror, watch him become Angelus….roll credits..Say what now?! I had initially avoided Buffy. The film was still fresh in my mind and I didn’t relish the idea of watching said cheerleader in varying degrees of live action Scooby Doo and the gang type adventures.

 

Talk about getting it wrong. One of the amazing things about Mr Whedon is having the ability to know what it is we want to see. We see that thing and then we need to see more. I wanted to hate Buffy but how the hell could I? Don’t get me wrong, there are episodes where I have been very tempted to find Mr Whedon and ask him what the hell he is playing at (see Season 4, Riley arc in particular, exception Hush) but then he comes up and delivers not only the things I need to see but forces me to watch the things I really didn’t want to. You have to be a stone cold sonofabitch not to melt at ‘The Body’.

So here I am and so it begins and I won’t go into a blow by blow about everything he said. What I can say is that being in his presence is inspiring. He talked about his despair about the lack of great females characters in television and movies. That for all the Buffy achieved, we still haven’t got there. He spoke of the fact that especially in the horror franchise, we just have characters that seem to be cannon fodder who we don’t engage with, we just watch them get hacked to bits. And then there was Firefly…

I initially was a huge sceptic about Firefly, probably not helped by my husband describing it as Space Cowboys by Whedon……not impressed. Then I saw the first episode, well the end of the episode where said villain is monologing and just when I was thinking, “Why does no-one ever just shoot these guys in the head or something?!” Captain Mal Reynolds blows said villain out of the airlock. This assured 2 things, firstly that I would have a penchant for Nathan Fillion (reconciling my fear of him from Buffy Season 7) and a swift reminder not to underestimate the power of the Whedon. I watched and loved it and was gutted when it was cancelled but with the help of my fellow geeks and Whedonites, I got to a happy place about the whole thing, assuring myself that at least it never stayed around to get shit. Then Joss went and ruined it all.

Hearing him talk about it, adding the emotion of this fully formed show that didn’t have to become something, because it was already there was just heart-breaking. It was like going thru the whole thing again as he charted the rise and fall of Firefly. I could not help but shake my fists at the world and ask, “Why God wwwwhhhhyyyyy!”

You could listen to Joss be insightful and self-deprecating and well, just pretty damn awesome for the entire night. It was a tremendous experience, which merely happened through a twist of fate but the best thing to come out of it was the answer to a question. The question was the typical, “How do I be a writer and get into the industry?” It’s a question that the world never stops asking of people like Joss, how did you do it? How come you got there? Gimme the guide, gimme anything?! And I once again had to bow to this man for what he said, “If you want to be a writer then why aren’t you writing? You have to do it. There are so many avenues now so just do it, write, get your stuff out there.” Just like that…BOOM! This is a guy who has had varying degrees of success. There are a lot of ‘couldn’t happens’ that come along with Joss. I remember hearing when he was originally touted as the director for Avengers the naysayers queued up in droves. For a second I held my breath because I knew that if he blew this then that would be it.

That night inspired me to keep going, to put my words out there because it’s something that I love to do and am pretty good at. The sheer tenacity of the man, made me fix the hell up, stop being afraid and put pen to paper for an audience. So here I am, my mind now fixed on watching some Firefly but mainly grateful for the experience of listening to the insights of a great writer.

Enjoy my latest alcoholic offering while remembering that I can kill you with my brain….so just to be safe look out for my next blog.

Sereni-Tea (Firefly/Serenity cocktail) – Courtesy of The Drunken Moogle

Ingredients:

1oz Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka

¾ oz Captain Morgan’s Original Spiced Rum

¾ oz silver tequila

¾ oz gin

1oz sour mix

Sweet Tea

Coca-cola

Lemon

Directions: Shake all ingredients, except for the sweet tea and cola, with ice and pour in a highball glass.  Top off with an even mix of cola and sweet tea and garnish with a lemon wedge. Toast to the Independents and drink up! This variation of the classic Long Island Iced Tea cocktail is also known as Browncoat Tea.

What The Fluxx! - Inconceivable

I realise that with each word I type, how much I have missed writing.  Far too many things and people were allowed to get in the way of the things that I wanted to do but mainly, sorry to go all Yoda, I was afraid, so afraid of completely sucking that stopped me from taking the plunge.

Eventually I began to face these fears and then, one day I watched the most excellent Adventure Time with my daughter and Jake said:

So inspired by Jake the Dog and Finn the Human and buoyed by my recent promise to myself to do more all the time, here I am. And here is Tabletop…

My brother is an awesome dude, when he was a kid he was a pustule on my right buttock but as he has matured in age he has become not only a great brother but a best friend. Usually when he introduces something new to the mix, I tend to listen. He knows me enough to know what I would like and hate and so when he wanted me to try some ‘Tabletop’ I paid attention as he showed me the Will Wheaton’s series.

He did the best thing as he knows I have a little geeky love for the Wil not- only-formerly-known-as-Wil-Crusher but for his work on Stand by me and The Big Bang aka my real life but not half as funny and I am not Penny or Amy. As much as I am a huge geek, I had my own ideas about Dungeons and Dragons and the whole Tabletop thing. I’ll be absolutely honest, a part of me was like, “Seriously…..errr D&D….really” Tabletop to me meant D&D, and for me was a game that some folks took waaaayyy too seriously. It tended to end up with someone killing some other players parents whilst rolling for Initiative or whatever, combined with strange dice and the inevitable harassed neighbour who says that they were very quiet kids until that unfortunate business and, oh look movie of the week etc. So a little bit of media induced baggage then?

Bruv did the best thing…he ensured that I watched the Gloom episode of Tabletop which just happened to feature Amber Benson (Tara from Buffy…..how is this woman not aging?) and I watched as the game unfolded. He allowed me no time to dismiss anything. Any preconceived ideas I had, pretty much evaporated in a few minutes of watching.

Gloom is a tabletop game where each player has a family of 5 and the aim of the game is to spin a tale to degrade their self-worth, aided by cards in the deck and then shuffle them off the mortal coil. Opposing players will do their best to boost your families’ self-worth and fend off the despair that you keep piling on. That’s essentially it. It struck me because, I love a good yarn and this was an opportunity to work out those muscles and tell a twisted tale driving a character to a Carrie White like demise.  I was initially a bit nervous about it but eventually we mastered Gloom, Fluxx & Pandemic.

In the heady euphoria, he decided to expand and take this out to a wider audience and with a little help from myself, we had our first Tabletop event on 30^th June in a pub in the heart of London. Dare I say that mighty fun was had by all, 11 of us all together, including the wonderfully talented GreatEscapist  who can really spin a debauched tale or 2. There were times when I am sure that the pub in question regretted allowing us to play with shouts of “NerfHeader!!”,”Is that the Zombie Syphilis strain taking out Chicago?” “I f*&kin knew it was HIM!” and of course, “We’re all dead!” The best thing was the way that after some initial reluctance, everyone had a damn good time and no-one was harmed…much…a few came very close to having cards shoved where the sun shineth not but the outcome was a hunger for more.

So here we are, planning more events like this and thoroughly enjoying ourselves in the meantime. If anything, I wonder why the hell I didn’t give this a go a long time ago. In honour of Tabletop, today’s recipe is a dedication to the 30^th June, courtesy of the awesome folks at the The Drunken Moogle. I have no affiliation with them but by God if I did….well this would probably be a blog about my descent into drunken debauchery…hmmmm I wonder???

Jace, the Mind Sculptor - Magic: The Gathering cocktail - Courtesy of The Drunken Moogle

Ingredients:

½ oz. Hpnotiq

1 oz. Blue Curacao

½ oz. Bacardi 151 (or any overproof rum)

1 oz. Sweet & Sour

Orange peel

Directions: Add ice and water to a Martini glass to chill the glass. Add all ingredients to a mixer glass with ice and stir well. Dump the ice out of the Martini glass and strain the drink into it and garnish with an orange peel.

Note: This is the 2^nd blog of mine that features booze….but then again this blog is called Lock in at The Bronze!